


A One-off / Ein Ausrutscher (Freier Fall/Free Fall musings)

by thelastaerie



Category: Freier Fall | Free Fall (2013)
Genre: Canon Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 21:16:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17885351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelastaerie/pseuds/thelastaerie
Summary: Part of my Free Fall musingsThis is mostly canon but with added “made up” scenes.It is the period between - After Marc’s son is born but before Kay get caught in the gay bar.





	A One-off / Ein Ausrutscher (Freier Fall/Free Fall musings)

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language (neither is German), so all spelling, grammatical mistakes and bad writing are all mine. I am just borrowing these characters to make up stories for my own peace of mind.
> 
> Thank you for reading.

His mobile beeped.

 

Marc already knew the SMS was from Kay before he glanced at the display screen.He muted the mobile and went lie down on the sofa.

 

Bettina was feeding their son in the other room, it was safe to call Kay if he wanted to.Marc’s fingers hovered over his mobile.Then he abruptly put it back in his jacket’s pocket, he felt a rush of that perverse pleasure - whenever he successfully stopped himself from contacting Kay.Like the bitter triumph of a dieter refusing dessert.

 

It’s been four days. _I’m doing well, I’m busy being a father, Bettina and my son need me._ Marc thought.Maybe this is the time to end it.I should end it.He closed his eyes and immediately saw Kay’s face behind his eyelids, his fingers aching to feel the fine blond hair on Kay’s arms, his mouth seeking to taste ... he opened his eyes again, “scheiße...” he cursed quietly to himself.

 

He took the mobile out again, flipped over it to read the SMS: <>want to go running?<> He took a shaky breath and slowly exhaled, then deleted the message.

 

******

 

“Do I hear wedding bells?”

 

“Whose wedding bells?”

 

“You and him.”

 

“You jealous?” Kay said, taunting Limpinski.Marc pretended he wasn’t listening to this exchange, he knew Kay wasn’t with Britt anymore, not after they had gotten together. _He’s probably just trying to annoy Limpinski, no, he’s not sleeping with Britt,_ Marc thought distractingly.

 

“Congratulations” Kay smiled and said what’s obligatory.Marc murmured a quick ‘thank you’, not daring to look at him directly.Kay turned away almost immediately.When Marc finally sneaked a peek at him among the crowd and the noise, he saw Kay putting on his jacket and left without a backward glance.

 

They haven’t talked on the phone for days since his son was born, Kay had stopped sending him SMS after a few unanswered ones. Marc reckoned he’s gotten the message, he felt partly relieved and partly... unease. _They had a good time together but now it’s different, surely Kay understands that?_ Marc thought.Then he recalled that time when Kay had asked him when he would tell Bettina. _What was Kay thinking? Why would he think I ever wanted to do that?_ Marc thought bitterly.Why he had to ruin it by demanding what I couldn’t give?

 

The euphoria of fatherhood was quickly taken over by the routine of looking after a newborn.Marc wasn’t just helping Bettina, he threw himself into the task.He craved the constant reassurance of his new responsibility, when he could indulge in this new role, being a father.So busy and dedicated that he wouldn’t have time to wonder what Kay might be doing at any given time.Was he alone in his apartment tonight? Or did he go out with friends?Who were his friends? 

 

Few days later, when Kay intercepted him on the road with his car, Marc was furious.He did not need this. 

 

“Are you nuts? Hey, Kay! I almost crashed into you!” Marc got out to confront Kay.

 

Kay took his time to turn off the engine and finally rolled down the car window, his face unreadable. 

 

“Nothing for days.Not even a SMS?” Kay accused him.

 

Marc’s heart started hammering, guilt and fear pushed him into a fight or flight mode.He did what he always did when being pushed - he lashed out and shouted, “I am a father now!Don’t you get it? Should I just abandon them?”

 

“I didn’t mean it like that...”

 

Sensing Kay’s slight retreat, Marc clung onto the flimsy self righteousness, “What? What then, Huh?” Hitting Kay’s car and walking away.

 

Kay got out of his car to follow, clearly frustrated.“Stop kidding yourself already, just admit that you’re gay.”Touching Marc’s shoulder, he softened his voice, “Marc, this isn’t easy for...”

 

That touch blazed through Marc like a lightning strike, he turned around and swiftly hit Kay in the face. 

 

“I’m not gay, Kay, got it?” He snapped back.

 

Kay touched his lips and saw blood.He looked at his fingers as if he couldn’t believe what had just happened.Marc’s chest tightened at the sight, but he hardened his voice, “it was just a one off with you! So leave me alone.” 

 

And Kay just stared at him with the same expression, his brow furrowed.The red spot of blood on his lips blurred Marc’s vision.“Leave me alone, Kay.” He warned Kay one last time and ran back to his car.

 

He turned and saw Kay still stood rooted to the spot, for a fraction of a second, he wanted nothing more than to run back to him, but he bit the inside of his mouth and opened his car door. 

 

******

 

Marc didn’t have to worry about avoiding Kay at work the next day, because Kay didn’t even acknowledge his existence, he walked past Marc as if he’s invisible.There’s a small cut on his lower lip and it’s slightly swollen, Marc felt physically sick every time he saw it.But he has come this far now he couldn’t go back, he still saw this as the best opportunity to put a stop to this, this...out of control mess.

 

“What happened to you?” Frank asked Kay, pointing to his lips.

 

Kay shrugged.He gave Frank the usual “you should see the other guy” answer and smiled without mirth.Marc’s face burned as he overheard the conversation.He decided to keep his head down and just got through the day. _It will be better when I get home, then I’ll have my days off, I’ll be too busy,_ he thought.

 

He was walking to the car park after his shift when he noticed a young guy with chestnut brown hair standing by Kay’s Jeep smoking, he looked to be in his early twenties, maybe even younger.Marc slowed down and stared at the guy, who glanced at Marc for a second then looked away.Something in the way he turned his head and the curl of his lip reminded Marc of Kay. 

 

Marc continued on to his car but he didn’t start it, just sat motionless in his seat, his stomach tied in knots.He had a view of Kay’s Jeep from his wing mirror, after five minutes, he saw Kay walking to his car, the young man flicked his cigarette away and went to meet Kay half way.They hugged and did some sort of elaborate fist bump, then the guy got into Kay’s car and they drove off.

 

Marc rested his head on the steeling wheel, willing his heart to stop pounding. _That guy is just a friend... maybe this is for the best, I am off the hook now..._ His two minds arguing with him.

 

The weekend was ruined.

 

Marc couldn’t concentrate on anything.He was scrubbing the blue paint stain on the carpet in the baby’s room, the constant reminder of one of the wildest, happiest nights he’d ever had and the fallout from it, but the stain wouldn’t come off, it just spread even bigger.The simmering anger threatened to boil over, he threw the brush away in frustration.Sat against the wall, he struggled to catch his breath.He couldn’t decide what made him angrier - the guilt or the jealousy.Or was it the longing.For a brief second he allowed himself to acknowledge how much he missed him.

 

******

 

It was so close the other day.Marc’s chest wound up so tight, it was at the tip of his tongue, to tell Bettina the truth - well, some part of the truth.When she asked Marc if everything’s ok, not really expecting anything wrong, but instead Marc told her that lately he felt like he’s suffocating, that it’s all so stifling.

 

“Do you know what I mean?” He asked, eyes pleading.

 

Bettina, who has always had doubt about moving in next door to Marc’s parents, jumped to the conclusion that Marc must be feeling the same pressure too, immediately offered him loving and comforting words.

 

“Hey... we will get through this. We have each other.” She murmured.Marc closed his eyes, hugging her tightly. 

 

He felt lonelier than ever.

 

By the 2nd week of Kay’s silent treatment, Marc has decided that Kay was to blame for his current predicament. _Why did he have to come here?Why did he have to force him to choose? Why is he still seeing other people?_

 

One night when Bettina was with Claudia over at Frank’s house, he got himself sufficiently drunk and texted Kay.

 

<<having a good time with your friend?>>

 

When there’s no reply,he typed again <<not talking to me now>>

 

Finally after 10 minutes, he got a reply.

 

<<nur ein ausrutscher>> (just a one-off)

 


End file.
